first kiss

I was in Chicago when I received a text from him, “do you want to hang out tonight?” my heart starts thumping because i know he’s leaving the next day and that he would want to spend time with me before he leaves.

We continued to text back and forth while planning this date while frantically shopping at any store in downtown Chicago for a ‘date appropriate” shirt because I was going straight to the restaurant after I landed.

When i arrived i spotted him sitting towards the window and he saw me walk in. his smile was bright like many previous smiles i've seen from him. I gave him a hug and we started drinking beers. Small talk about the trip and how it went happened but he and I knew what needed to be said and what wasn't going to be said. 

 Why is it so hard to convey feelings as an adult? sitting across from someone you like is so intimidating. I couldn't say a word about us. To avoid the topic he taught me how to play cribbage. We played a few rounds and as the restaurant started winding down we decided to leave.
(this date is so minnesotan, beers and cribbage)

The evening weather was cooling down quickly as he always left in the fall. We proceeded driving towards the direction of my vehicle. Since we were no longer facing each other I had the bravery to ask him “what are we?”

Guy: i dunno
Me: okay i really like you but you always leave
Guy:i like you too and ill be gone for a while.
Me: okay
(wtf so we are back at square one)

The rest of the car ride was quiet. The closer we got to my car, rain started to fall and proceeded to rain harder and harder. Not just regular rain, heavy drops. Heavy like my heart. Heavy like the tension in the car.
(i wish i was lying but this is all so real) 

When we arrived, we sat there for a couple minutes listening to the rain. They were speaking for us because our tongues couldn't form words. I knew this would be the end of it. When I left this car it was going to be the end of whatever this is. At this point i had already waited two years for him. I don't know what i was waiting for but i waited.
(you guys im kicking my feet recalling this story, the next part is too much)

I turned to him and gave him a car hug and thanked him for a fun evening and then he asked in the most polite manner  “can i kiss you?” my face felt hot and i replied “yes” he grabbed my face gently and romantically and gave me the sweetest kiss i've ever received. 

The raindrops were louder than before as if it was telling me to stop this kiss. I pulled away from him, thanked him for the ride and I left his car.